8th August, 2008 or 08/08/08 will be etched in my memory forever. This day the late Mr. Chua Choo Kia, my father in law (FIL) was laid to rest at the Christian cemetery in Kong Kong, Johor Bahru.

FIL is a fighter having retired at the early age of 40 odd due to angina. Over the years he fought battles against heart problems, underwent open heart surgery, had quadruple by-passes and 3 valve replacements, fought cancer, survived numerous operations to arrest cancer to finally succumbing to the dreaded cancer of the liver on 5th August, 2008 at the ripe age of 80 years.

I remember FIL not feeling too well in London and that even a few steps outside our (Lee Poh and my) rented room in Grove Road E17, he would pant like crazy, yet when he heard that our Matthew needed child minding, he was on the first plane there. That’s his self-less nature.

A few years later, when we (me, Lee Poh, Matthew Malcolm and Amanda) are all settled in Batu Pahat, FIL was scheduled for an operation to remove a growth in his abdomen. Being head honcho and head of the Chua Clan, he promptly despatched his blessings on all his descendents in preparation of that surgery. I then declared a silent vow to have my moustache shaven off if FIL pulls through the surgery. Little did we know that the growth was indeed cancerous and had affected not only the liver, but bits of the growth had also infected the gall bladder (which was full of stones incidentally), part of the stomach, diaphragm, the rib cage (part of his lower rib was hacked off), spleen, bottom part of his lung and small intestines. The growth was the size of a foetus full term. A few days later, I was assigned the transport of FIL back from Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore to his abode in Johor Bahru. Upon his discharge I promptly shaved off my moustache in thanksgiving and fulfilment of the vow.

Yet later FIL was in and out of hospitals with several other complications. He endured a stroke which left his right side weaker than his left. At the hospital the doctor painted such a bleak picture of his chances of recovery saying that there is now no involuntary response to stimuli and that the family must resign to the fact that FIL would either not survive or if he does, in a vegetative state. Against all odds, FIL managed not only to awake from the “coma” and pull through but even managed to whisper to his beloved spouse that he was holding up his urine for the past 5-6 hours and he needed to go ….

FIL is always the patient mild mannered man. He loves to joke and share his stories about the people around him. He keeps you in stitches recounting his anecdotes and life experiences. In his earlier years I know him to be quite a handyman except that he will do the directing (due to his health condition) much like the JKR supervisor and I will do the hard stuff! After all that work, we would always try to sneak some banned food to replenish what the job took out of us and feasting in a clandestine manner, I will feed him his secret ration of beef, mutton, prawns and eggs.

The past several years saw FIL frail and unable to indulge in his passion or driving. I was the culprit who mooted and then stood as guarantor to FIL’s purchase of his Proton Wira. FIL had wanted to use a personalised number plate bearing 9212 but his beloved spouse, Mother in law (MIL) wanted 8723. Guess who won!! The whole Chua clan chipped in to pay the instalments. I think FIL didn’t get to drive his car much as soon after that he suffered several bouts of health issues and nobody allowed him the wheels.

One day in mid 2004, FIL suffered a fall and was immediately sent to the hospital for what we all thought as a routine check-up. The imaging results brought horror to all of us. The major operation to remove the growth in his abdomen could not totally remove all traces of the dreaded cancer and his liver was heavily spotted with cancerous growth. Several follow-up imaging and a barrage of tests was done. Armed with the scans, imaging reports, x-rays etc, the decision was made to see a renowned oncologist (or so we were told) in Singapore. FIL was put on chemo therapy and it nearly killed him. He was knocked into ICU for a good several weeks. The so called renowned oncologist made a mistake … and I was so boiling mad I wanted to institute legal proceedings in medical negligence immediately.
Apparently he had misread the scans, imaging reports, x-rays and reports. As a second diagnosis, no chemo was ordered but a new and rather expensive drug was prescribed, Glivec.

While FIL was in ICU we told him that we had just bought a Naza Ria MPV and we are waiting to bring him for a ride. We had previously gone on a holiday in Penang in 2003 in a Kia Carnival and FIL remembers the car as a comfortable spacious vehicle with excellent air conditioning.

To deal with the increasing cost of FIL’s medical and his needs, a wonderful scheme (provided all fulfils their individual obligations to pay) called the Central Fund, previously collected ad hoc now crystallised to a periodic payment instalment scheme was hatched and immediately put into its paces.

Over the years the Central Fund has disbursed hundreds of thousands of Ringgit with benefactors faithfully banking in their contributions, some, like us, making it a priority after our tithe. I suspect that Lee Poh would rather see to Central Fund remittance even if it means defaulting on our housing loan repayments but thank GOD, the ever faithful LORD who never ever fails to see that we have enough to see to our financial obligations, and more …

FIL’s last public function in Batu Pahat was on 19th May, 2008 to grace the occasion of our thanksgiving over the academic success of Matthew, Malcolm and the distinction in Grade 8 pianoforte by Amanda. FIL sat regal in his wheelchair for several hours, even listening to the karaoke session.

Our last meal with FIL was celebrating Fathers’ day on 21st June, 2008 at Singapore. He was already weak and frail but celebrate we all must…. When it comes to food, who can say no!

When FIL breathed his last on midnight 5th August, 2008 he was surrounded by his loved ones, his family. We were singing his favourite hymns, scripture recited intermingled with prayers. The family agonized with the eventuality of losing him but know full well that FIL to be absent from his diseased body is to be present with his LORD and saviour, a much better prospect. We all watched him breathe his last and committed his spirit to the LORD, all this time with his peaceful grin etched on his face. What a way to go…!

The English wake was held on 5th August, 2008, Chinese wake on 6th August, 2008 and a spectacular bi-lingual wake on 7th August, 2008, spectacular because the heavens opened with cats and dogs pouring down and also an almost incomprehensible English sermon being delivered. Chua clanners stole the shows nightly with eulogies and presentations. Even the sons-in-law managed to say their piece.

The funeral on 8th August, 2008 was conducted to an overcast sky. Committed to the ground .. ashes to ashes and dust to dust ..

FIL did impact his family. He lived a full life, trusting GOD and believing in his LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ, serving Him with all his capacity and capabilities. He gave much to his family and he will always be remembered for his selfless devotion.

Till we meet again in heaven.